BLACK NARCISSUS: Nun with the Wind

This review was requested by Nate Biagiotti. Many thanks to Nate for supporting Post-Credit Coda through our Patreon.

Directors: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Writers: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger
Cast: Deborah Kerr, Flora Robson, Jenny Laird, Judith Furse, Kathleen Byron, Esmond Knight, Sabu, David Farrar, Jean Simmons, May Hallatt, Eddie Whaley Jr.
Runtime: 101 mins.
1947

Black Narcissus is the story of a small group of Anglican nuns who are sent to establish a convent high in the Himalayas. The structure they will occupy sits 9,000 feet above a village nestled in a fertile valley. Originally occupied by the local general's many concubines, it has been sitting empty for years save a group of monks who came and went after six months. The nuns' mission is to provide schooling and medicine to the community. The pressure is high for the newly-minted Mother Superior, the horrid-named Sister Clodagh (Deborah Kerr), given that her promotion makes her the youngest Superior in the entire order. The pressure only mounts further when her English contact at the village, the ~sensual~ Mr. Dean (David Farrar), warns her that westerners don't take well to the rarefied conditions of the mountain's edge.

The most prominent and stunning accomplishment of the film is the Technicolor cinematography by Jack Cardiff. Black Narcissus approaches the definition of the word 'sumptuous' in a way unheard of for 1947. The "for 1947" amendment is hardly even necessary; this film is jaw-dropping by 2020 standards. One sudden cut to a brilliant field of pink flowers actually made me gasp. One can only imagine how gobsmacked an audience of the '40s would be to witness that on the big screen.

THE 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN: Monky Business

This review is the first in a Martial Arts Movie retrospective commissioned by Arthur Robinson. Many thanks to Arthur for supporting Post-Credit Coda through our Patreon. All other film reviews in this retrospective will be found here.

Director: Chia-Liang Liu
Writer: Kuang Ni
Cast: Chia-Hui Liu, Lieh Lo, Chia Yung Liu, Norman Chu
Runtime: 116 mins.
1978


The 36 Chambers of Praise for The 36th Chamber of Shaolin.

THE STUFF: Can't Get Enough!

This review is the second in a Larry Cohen retrospective commissioned by Nate Biagiotti. Many thanks to Nate for supporting Post-Credit Coda through our Patreon. All other film reviews in this retrospective can be found here.

Director: Larry Cohen
Writer: Larry Cohen
Cast: Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Garret Morris, Paul Sorvino, Scott Bloom, Danny Aiello, Patrick O'Neal
Runtime: 87 mins.
1985

The Stuff begins abruptly with a man stumbling upon a strange phenomenon. A thick white paste bubbles out of the ground in a rocky quarry, distinct from its snowy surroundings. The first thing he expresses is, "That tastes real good! Tasty! Sweet!" The second thing he expresses is, "You know if this stuff keeps bubbling out of the ground like this, there might be enough of it here that we could sell to people!" We never see this man again, but that minute of screentime has framed the two core tenets of The Stuff. First and foremost, the movie is about The Stuff itself, a mysteriously delicious substance that ends up being a sentient body-snatching organism. More importantly, The Stuff is about the man's second conclusion: it can be sold.

The first act of The Stuff is a sociological exploration, flitting between scenes of personal enjoyment, marketing blitz, and corporate deliberation. The film shows us how addictive The Stuff is, but we also see the corporate machinery that cements it as a fixture of as many households as possible. It plays like a pandemic movie, or a large scale disaster film.

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: Animal Control

Director: Jeff Fowler
Writers: Pat Casey, Josh Miller
Cast: Jim Carrey, Ben Schwartz, James Marsden, Lee Majdoub, Tika Sumpter, Natasha Rothwell
Runtime (lol): 99 mins.
2020

Sonic the Hedgehog may have suffered the most embarrassing CGI redesign debacle since Superman's smooth upper lip. It may be tone deaf enough to make its protagonist a white cop with a heart of gold, and it may double down on that tone deafness by giving him a fawning one-dimensional Black wife. It may triple down on its racism by having a Black child whose only role is to give Sonic his red Air Jordan-esque sneakers, and an angry Black woman whose only role is to faint, get tied up, complain, and pee herself. It may be serially incapable of following character arcs to completion. It may contain jokes that became outdated the moment they were conceived. It may have action that oscillates between unsatisfying and lame. It may ramp up to one of the least impressive versions of that now-tired trope: portal-based CGI chase climax. It may feature a protagonist that never feels like he is in the same room as the other protagonist. It may begin with a maternal owl being killed by natives for reasons I still don't understand. It may feature not one, but two scenes of Sonic the Hedgehog flossing (the dance, not the painful mouth string).

But it does have one thing. And that one thing goes great lengths to elevate this movie from "bad" to "all righty then."

Jim Carrey.

PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE: Burning Love

This review was requested by Tania Maatouk. Many thanks to Tania for supporting Post-Credit Coda through our Patreon.

Director: Céline Sciamma
Writer: Céline Sciamma
Cast: Noémie Merlant, Adèle Haenel, Luàna Bajrami, Valeria Golino
Runtime: 122 mins.
2019

BLACK LEGION: Mask for Masc

This review was requested by Brian Kapustik. Many thanks to Brian for supporting Post-Credit Coda through our Patreon.

Director: Archie Mayo
Writers: Abem Finkel, William Wister Haines, Robert Lord
Cast: Humphrey Bogart, Dick Foran, Erin O'Brien-Moore, Ann Sheridan, Helen Flint, Dickie Jones, Henry Brandon
Runtime: 83 mins.
1937

After an ominous credit sequence buffeted by illustrations of sinister hooded figures, Black Legion settles us into the day to day life of factory worker Frank Taylor (Humphrey Bogart). We meet his wife (Erin O'Brien-Moore) and child (the surprisingly endearing Dickie Jones), his coworker and neighbor Ed (Dick Foran), Ed's prospective wife Betty (Ann Sheridan), and the floozy who is trying to steal him away from her, Pearl Danvers (Helen Flint). The opening act is lulling. We are shepherded into Frank's comfortable domestic life, the friendly community at the machine shop, and the prospect of job advancement that keeps him coming into work excited day after day.

Frank's certainty of promotion is shattered when the foreman job goes to Polish engineering whiz Joe Dombrowski (Henry Brandon). That night, crestfallen, Frank tunes into the radio with sunken eyes. He listens to a charismatic voice rabble-rousing about foreign-born immigrants invading America, stealing jobs, and threatening real Americans' way of life...

Top Ten Types of Talking Animal Movies Ranked from Least Unholy to Most Unholy

Ever since the birth of cinema, when that train came out of the tunnel and said 'choo choo', talking animals have been a common movie conceit. There have been many movies made about cows, many about bears. Most of all, there's dogs. When they speak, whatever they are, what fun it is!

Here are the 10 types of talking animal movies, ranked from least unholy to most unholy.