THE IMPOSSIBLE: It's Tsuna-me, Not Tsuna-you

In which Ewan McGregor kisses things for 50% of his screentime.

Director: J. A. Bayona

Writer: Sergio G. Sánchez

Cast: Naomi Watts, Tom Holland, Ewan McGregor, Samuel Joslin, Oaklee Pendergast

Runtime: 114 mins.

2012

Before I start the review, I should give you a comprehensive recap of this movie. Pay attention, it's going to be complicated:

This "true story" follows a British family vacationing in Thailand during the tsunami of Christmas 2004, and their efforts to find each other in the aftermath of the disaster.

That's about it. Now onto the review!

DUMMY: Hollywood's Hand Up Ventriloquism's Butt

In which a ventriloquist's dummy is creepy for one scene and a ventriloquist is creepy for most.

Director: Greg Pritikin

Writer: Greg Pritikin

Cast: Adrien Brody, Milla Jovovich, Vera Farmiga, Illeana Douglas, Jessica Walter, Ron Liebman, Jared Harris

Runtime: 91 mins.

2002

More than anything, Dummy feels like a movie that is unstuck from reality. Temporally speaking, there is little to suggest that the movie was released in 2002. The protagonist is the sort of bumbling man-child living-with-his-parents figure to whom we've grown accustomed in the late 00s and early 10s, but Brody plays the character with a docile earnestness that feels more at home in the 50s. The broad, almost interesting yet still firmly conservative nature of the comedy feels more at home in the 90s, when that sort of thing proliferated. The punk rock sensibilities and screw-the-man attitude displayed by Milla Jovovich's character (and sometimes the movie's tone) are ripped straight from the 80s, while some of the outfits--namely those of Illeana Douglas's character--make you want to sigh, "That's the 70s for you." Cover all this over with a simultaneous love for old-fashioned 20s (or 50s) showmanship and 30s (or 60s) deconstruction of said showmanship, and you get what amounts to a weird niche 2002 comedy picture about an awkward fellow and the dummy that he uses to try to get laid, though the movie would never be so courageous as to put it in those terms.

You can call me out on my awfully vague characterizations of decades that I didn't live through, but the point stands that Dummy suffers from what you could call a confused identity.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: Hooked on a Feeling

Director: James Gunn
Writers: James Gunn, Nicole Perlman
Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Bradley Cooper, Vin Diesel, Dave Bautista, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Benicio Del Toro, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Gunn
Runtime: 121 mins.
2014

First the numbers.

Guardians of the Galaxy grossed $94 million in its opening weekend. The only 2014 movies to have bigger opening weekends were Transformers: Age of Extinction at $100 million and Captain America: The Winter Soldier at $95 million. More notable is the fact that Guardians managed to accomplish these numbers in August; compared to the triad of May-June-July, August box office numbers are usually slight. In fact, Guardians shattered the previous August opening weekend record, which belonged to The Bourne Ultimatum at $69.3 million. That's a solid $25 million margin.

Perhaps most notable of all, Guardians managed to achieve these astronomical numbers despite not being a sequel or a well-known property. Ticket buyers generally flock to the familiar. Take a look at all the other movies mentioned in the previous paragraph: The Winter Soldier, Ultimatum, and Age of Extinction are the second, third, and fourth movies of their respective franchises. Not only that, but two of them feature well-known protagonists who have achieved widespread cultural penetration over the course of decades, and the third features the protagonist of a series of very popular Ludlum novels. My point is that this cume represents an unprecedented level of financial success for a movie starring characters that almost nobody (including myself) had heard of a year ago. Even The Amazing Spider-Man 2 made less opening weekend cash despite featuring one of the most recognizable characters in pop culture. Part of that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe brand, and part of it is Disney's (impressive) marketing campaign. But I have to believe that a lot of this bottled magic has to do with the movie itself. Guardians of the Galaxy has energy, and it has soul; these qualities bleed through the advertisements, critical acclaim, and word-of-mouth.

So now that we are finished parsing the soulless numbers, let's talk about soul.