THE GIFT: That Keeps on Giving

Director: Joel Edgerton
Writer: Joel Edgerton
Cast: Rebecca Hall, Jason Bateman, Joel Edgerton
Runtime: 108 mins.
2015

The Gift is an incredibly functional movie, accomplishing everything it set out to accomplish by using every tool at its disposal. Edgerton's directorial debut sees him attempting the triple crown--writing, directing, starring--and he nails each of those three roles. The Gift is lean and mean, with no wasted moment. So I can't say it's the movie's fault that it doesn't contain the spark necessary to vault into the pantheon of Instant Classic the way Nightcrawler did for me last year. I'm not the first to make that comparison, but it's a fruitful one; Nightcrawler may be messier than The Gift, but that movie's frequent high points court transcendence. The Gift is just more subdued, which is a choice rather than a flaw.

Perhaps a more generous comparison to establish is that The Gift is a far more subtle version of Fatal Attraction. The movie follows a loving couple who have just moved to a gorgeous hillside home in California. While out and about they encounter one of the husband's childhood acquaintances, Gordo (Joel Edgerton). Simon (Jason Bateman) doesn't recognize him right away, but later informs his wife Robyn (Rebecca Hall) that Gordo was something of a weirdo back in school. Thus it's no surprise that Simon rapidly becomes uneasy when Gordo keeps showing up at their house unprompted, butting in on meals and leaving gifts that eventually take a sinister turn.

FANTASTIC FOUR: Journey to Turdworld

Director: Josh Trank

Writers: Jeremy Slater, Simon Kinberg, Josh Trank
Cast: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey
Runtime: 100 mins.
2015

Nobody wants to hang around in Turdworld. A jaunt to Turdworld might be acceptable. Even a journey through it. But when your entire film is a journey, and the sole destination is Turdworld, the audience has a right to feel both robbed and insulted.

Turdworld is both a metaphor and my personal name for the other-dimensional planet which is the setting for the significant setpieces of Fantastic Four. Ever since his boy genius youth, Reed Richards (Miles Teller) has been pursuing experiments involving the transmission of matter to and from somewhere else. He's had the help of his blue collar buddy Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), but it isn't until an older scientist (Reg E. Cathey) and his daughter (Kate Mara) stumble upon Richards' work that he receives the funding and support he needs to fully bring his dream to reality. The daughter, Sue Storm, helps out, as do her slacker brother, Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), and the defunct former-boy-genius-attached-to-the-project, Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell). Some of them use the machine to transmit themselves to Turdworld, and as a result they are horribly mutated. Then they try to fix their mutation? I don't know, the movie functionally stops happening at that point.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION: Roguish Charm

Director: Christopher McQuarrie
Writers: Christopher McQuarrie, Drew Pearce
Cast: Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner, Ving Rhames, Alec Baldwin, Sean Harris
Runtime: 131 mins.
2015

Mission: Impossible is a minor miracle of a modern action franchise. Much like the Bond films, M:I has maintained a commitment to old fashioned stuntwork. Even more impressive is Tom Cruise's manic insistence that he perform these insane stunts himself. The fifty-three year old megastar has weathered the sands of time and the fickle whims of the viewing public by maintaining a pressing desire that you and I should enjoy his movies, no matter what. It's easy for an actor to become withered and cynical after years of being churned through the Hollywood system, but Cruise has a vitality only matched by a younger Tom Cruise.

The unquenchable enthusiasm of perennial producer and lead actor Tom Cruise is certainly one of the primary forces that has transformed Mission: Impossible from a series of convoluted spy capers that exist only for the setpieces into a series of engaging spy capers that exist only for the setpieces. That doesn't sound like as much of a compliment as I intend it to be.

MR. HOLMES: Elementary, My Dead Watson

Director: Bill Condon
Writers: Jeffrey Hatcher
Cast: Ian McKellen, Milo Parker, Laura Linney, Hiroyuki Sanada
Runtime: 104 mins.
2015

Mr. Holmes presents an aged Sherlock with decades standing between himself and many of the aspects of the character that we would typically consider mandatory, or at the least recognizable. Holmes (Ian McKellen), a once infamous detective, is now wiling away his life in the quiet English countryside with his caretaker (Laura Linney) and her child Roger (Milo Parker). He chafes at this lifestyle, yet has been resigned to it ever since his long distant Last Case and subsequent retirement. The trouble is, he can't remember why that final case drove him into retirement, and he doesn't trust the long-deceased Watson's fictionalized take on the matter. Sherlock Holmes is only interested in the hard truth, a difficult proposition when suffering from heavy bouts of memory loss and senility. Mr. Holmes is about an aging genius attempting to reconstruct his memories to understand an important decision he made many years ago, and he only manages to make progress with the insistent prodding of his new friend and protege, Roger.