THE CONJURING 2: They Ain't 'Fraid of No Ghosts

Director: James Wan
Writers: Carey Hayes, Chad Hayes, James Wan, David Leslie Johnson
Cast: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe, Frances O'Connor, Lauren Esposito, Benjamin Haigh, Patrick McAuley
Runtime: 134 mins.
2016

There are many things I love about the freshly franchised Conjuring movies. Foremost among them is the opening title card that features some ponderous purple prose detailing the "true" nature of this story, scrolling up the screen in enormous spidery yellow text, accompanied by music of ill portent. If the events as portrayed were even vaguely "true," this film would likely be in bad taste, but luckily the movie has no compunctions about letting us know early and often that there is not a whiff of accuracy to what you're seeing onscreen. The film uses its "based on actual events" as schlocky window dressing, a mood-setting gesture no more accurate than "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." This is to our tremendous advantage; instead of making some self-serious loosely-biographical slog, we have been treated to a couple of the most delightfully scary haunted house stories to ever grace the genre.

Wan's sequel kicks off with a statement of intent. Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren are in the midst of investigating the haunting at Amityville, one of the most heavily mined source materials in paranormal history. Lorraine goes on a little spirit walk that involves stepping into the shoes of the possessed killer, at which point she is confronted with a gruesome premonition about the future of her and her husband. This is not one of the better scenes of the film, but setting the opening stinger in Amityville effectively establishes two important points: 1) Wan is not afraid to upstage his horror-making brethren, and 2) This particular Conjuring chapter will have far more of a focus on the ghostbusting duo than the last.

THE CONJURING: Home Is Where the Horror Is

Director: James Wan
Writers: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes
Cast: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver
Runtime: 112 mins.
2013

I can't think of a single element in The Conjuring that is entirely original. The story follows two paranormal investigators--based on a true pair of paranormal investigators, Lorraine and Ed Warren, if that does anything for you--who are reeled into the supernatural drama surrounding salt-of-the-earth family the Perrons. You see, they only just moved into this spooky old house and already they are having trouble with a malicious demonic presence. The Warrens, however, know exactly what to do. They collect enough evidence for the Catholic church to send a big shot exorcist; the situation, however, ends up being more pressing than they'd previously imagined. There's a pitch black boarded off basement, slowly creaking doors, creepy sleepwalking, and a dusty old music box that ain't quite right.

Sounds like tripe. After all, which of these conceits have not been done to death, then back to life, then to death once more? Yet it is said that creating cinema is an act of alchemy, and director James Wan has become a master alchemist. He takes a solid but workmanlike script and clamps his directorial vicegrip tighter and tighter until you are losing your mind at how frightening this bundle of cliches has become.