GREEN ROOM: Got a Little Fight in You

Earlier this week, a freak accident took the life of twenty-seven year old actor Anton Yelchin. This review was written before the accident, but I have since edited it to put more of a spotlight on Yelchin's incredible contributions. His career was about to explode, and it would have undoubtedly been long and accomplished. Unfortunately, we are relegated to looking back for his greatest artistic achievements, and Green Room is certainly one of them.

Director: Jeremy Saulnier
Writer: Jeremy Saulnier
Cast: Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Patrick Stewart, Joe Cole, Alia Shawkat, Callum Turner, Mark Webber, Macon Blair
95 mins.
2016

Thusfar Jeremy Saulnier's career consists of tense slow burn ruminations on the way that violence begets violence that also have a color in their title. He kicked this off with the 2014 film Blue Ruin. First films rarely conduct themselves with such swagger, but Blue Ruin lives up to the mellifluousness of its title. With Green Room, his sophomore effort, Saulnier makes it clear that he is a talent who will continue to demand attention. I am certain there are those who prefer the melancholy of Blue Ruin, but for my money Saulnier has topped himself here.

The story can be boiled down as follows: a punk band accidentally witnesses something they shouldn't witness at a backwoods venue--a venue that is actually a front for a cabal of neo-nazis led by the incomparable Patrick Stewart as Darcy. As a result, they are locked in the green room as both our heroes and their relentlessly pragmatic and levelheaded antagonists try to figure out how best to handle the situation.

The term "thriller" often gets bandied about without a second glance, but Green Room truly thrills. Or at least thralls. From about half an hour in, the film had its tendrils firmly wound around my gut. Not once does it let go until the credits roll. Blue Ruin is the essentialized version of the sentiment: "What is going to happen next??" I cannot remember experiencing quite this brand of continually ratcheted stakes since Breaking Bad went off the air.

FINDING DORY: A Tangy Aftertaste

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Directors: Andrew Stanton, Angus MacLane (co-director)
Writers: Andrew Stanton, Victoria Strause
Cast: Ellen DeGeneres, Albert Brooks, Hayden Rolence, Ed O'Neill, Kaitlin Olson, Ty Burrell, Diane Keaton, Idris Elba, Dominic West
Runtime: 97 mins.
2016

There was a lengthy, downright dynastic period of time during which the release of a new Pixar movie meant the release of a new guaranteed classic. We are firmly out of that period. Of the five films released before Finding Dory, only one could be considered great by any significant metric. So it became difficult to care about the impending Finding Nemo sequel, a feeling only exacerbated by: 1) Pixar's increasing reliance on cash-in sequels and prequels, and 2) Director Andrew Stanton's recent career dip with the catastrophic failure of John Carter, an incident that makes transparent Stanton's desire to jump on board with a guaranteed cash-in of his own.

Yet I tried to be hopeful about Finding Dory, even as it kept slipping off my radar. Surely Pixar has created enough cinematic magic to warrant a bit of good faith. Too bad Finding Dory does little enough to reward that faith.

THE CONJURING: Home Is Where the Horror Is

Director: James Wan
Writers: Chad Hayes, Carey Hayes
Cast: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, Joey King, Mackenzie Foy, Kyla Deaver
Runtime: 112 mins.
2013

I can't think of a single element in The Conjuring that is entirely original. The story follows two paranormal investigators--based on a true pair of paranormal investigators, Lorraine and Ed Warren, if that does anything for you--who are reeled into the supernatural drama surrounding salt-of-the-earth family the Perrons. You see, they only just moved into this spooky old house and already they are having trouble with a malicious demonic presence. The Warrens, however, know exactly what to do. They collect enough evidence for the Catholic church to send a big shot exorcist; the situation, however, ends up being more pressing than they'd previously imagined. There's a pitch black boarded off basement, slowly creaking doors, creepy sleepwalking, and a dusty old music box that ain't quite right.

Sounds like tripe. After all, which of these conceits have not been done to death, then back to life, then to death once more? Yet it is said that creating cinema is an act of alchemy, and director James Wan has become a master alchemist. He takes a solid but workmanlike script and clamps his directorial vicegrip tighter and tighter until you are losing your mind at how frightening this bundle of cliches has become.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR - Perpetual Motion Machine

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Directors: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Writers: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely
Cast: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johansson, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Bruhl, Anthony Mackie, Don Cheadle, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Jeremy Renner, Emily VanCamp, William Hurt, Paul Rudd, Tom Holland, Frank Grillo, Martin Freeman, Marisa Tomei, John Kani, John Slattery, Hope Davis
Runtime: 147 mins.
2016

In the month since the release of Captain America: Civil War, I have been trying to parse my feelings about the film. I've always been a sucker for comic book cinema, ever since I was weaned on Sam Raimi's Spider-Man movies,* but as I've become more discerning and my tastes have shifted, I've grown less and less comfortable with easy bankable formulas. In fact, my adoration of nerd culture in general has soured for reasons I'd prefer not to get into here.

*Spider-Man 1 + 2 still being the best pieces of superhero cinema in existence, with a sideward nod to The Dark Knight.

Over the years I've frequently pushed to redefine the arbitrary boundaries of what is fit to be included in discussions about art and academia to include certain "vulgar genre fiction" properties. I've tried to rally against biases folks have towards superhero fiction, children's movies, animation, speculative fiction, and so on. It's not about the surface level signifiers; it's about being able to meet a story on its own terms.

That being said, I've also had to flip that script on myself and confront my own delusions about properties that I wanted so badly to adore. 2012 was a watershed year for me; I had to face the one-two punch of The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises, both movies that I wanted to love so badly that I was blinded to their myriad flaws. In both cases, my wake-up call came in the form of my favorite film critic, Film Crit Hulk, who wrote eye-opening screeds against both of these films. Here they are, if you're interested.

Film Crit Hulk Smash: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN HAS 99 PROBLEMS BUT AN UNCLE BEN AIN'T ONE

Film Crit Hulk Smash: HULK VS. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

IRON MAN 2: Empty Shellhead

In the weeks leading up to Marvel's next blockbuster juggernaut, Captain America: Civil War, we will be looking at every cinematic iteration of those two warring rapscallions, Captain America and Iron Man.

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Director: Jon Favreau
Writer: Justin Theroux
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Clark Gregg, John Slattery, Gary Shandling, Paul Bettany
Runtime: 124 mins.
2010

Iron Man made a splash in the cultural landscape by being tight, fun, propulsive, and sleek. Iron Man 2 has the distinction of sharing none of those qualities. Instead it is nasty, morose, choppy, and kind of pointless. The sheer watchability of the cast is perhaps the one thing that prevents Iron Man 2 from being a total chore.

This film more than any other showcases the growing pains of Hollywood's first cinematic universe. With only Iron Man and the decent The Incredible Hulk under their belt, Marvel set out to capitalize on the promise of the famous Nick Fury post-credit coda. Unsurprisingly this meant cranking out a sequel to their 2008 smash hit with the same filmmaker at the helm. But this also meant rushing into the production and shoehorning in a cavalcade of shared universe elements that cripple any coherent narrative that may have existed otherwise.

THE JUNGLE BOOK: Bearly Coherent

Director: Jon Favreau
Writer: Justin Marks
Cast: Neel Sethi, Ben Kingsley, Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Lupita Nyong'o, Christopher Walken, Giancarlo Esposito, Scarlett Johansson
Runtime: 106 mins.
2016

The Jungle Book amounts to a mediocre but entertaining film. It's so entertaining, in fact, that it successfully distracts its audience from its own flaccid plot. The film exists first and foremost as a piece of spectacle, and within that realm it accomplishes exactly what it set out to do. What you've probably heard concerning the visuals is true; they move beyond impressive and into immersive. From the very first moment it's as if you've stumbled into the jungle and are hanging out right alongside Mowgli (Neel Sethi). Not for a moment did the seams show enough to divorce me from Favreau's lush jungle environment, which is shocking when you learn that the entirety of the movie was filmed in an LA soundstage. This is so vividly a living, breathing world. Spending a couple of hours there is a blast.

The impulse to focus on the setting produces some iconic work, but the screenplay is barely enough to prop it up. The result is a tonal mishmash that is trying so hard to please everybody that it fails to achieve a distinct identity of its own. I counted three warring movies existing within Favreau's Jungle Book, any one of which would have been excellent on its own. Three movies that sapped strength from each other, and interrupted each other at inopportune moments. Here is my window into The Jungle Books that could have been.

IRON MAN: Ground Zero Hero

In the weeks leading up to Marvel's next blockbuster juggernaut, Captain America: Civil War, we will be looking at every cinematic iteration of those two warring rapscallions, Captain America and Iron Man.

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Director: Jon Favreau
Writers: Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway
Cast: Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges, Terrence Howard, Clark Gregg, Paul Bettany, Jon Favreau
Runtime: 126 mins.
2008

Eight years later and the success of Iron Man feels inevitable. This is the movie that spawned a franchise of thirteen films and counting. Returning to the source is a fairly satisfying experience. The zippy pace, tight action, and whirlwind of a lead performance make for both an enjoyable standalone experience and a solid foundation for all the hubbub to come. And yet, nobody saw any of this coming.

Iron Man had been in development hell since 1990, burning through directors, writers, and producers on a regular basis. Everyone from Tom Cruise to Nic Cage to Tarantino had been approached about the project. Eventually 2006 rolled around and Marvel Studios took over the mantle. They essentially started from scratch, ignoring the script treatments that had come before. Iron Man was fast-tracked simply because he was their final major property to have never gotten a big screen treatment before. Iron Man was not at all a hot commodity before this film. He was a B-list hero with so little cultural relevance that Marvel had to actively educate potential audiences that Iron Man was a man in a suit rather than some sort of automaton. It's not surprising that the self-financed and unproven Marvel Studios had to go through 30+ writers in order to put together a team for this movie.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Cap-turing Character

In the weeks leading up to Marvel's next blockbuster juggernaut, Captain America: Civil War, we will be looking at every cinematic iteration of those two warring rapscallions, Captain America and Iron Man.

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Director: Albert Pyun
Writers: Stephen Tolkin, Lawrence Block
Cast: Matt Salinger, Kim Gillingham, Ronny Cox, Ned Beatty, Scott Paulin
Runtime: 97 mins.
1990

The 1990 American-Yugoslavian direct-to-video action film Captain America is the first cinematic adaptation of the character with some semblance of attention paid to the actual character. The first act plays out like a truncated version of Captain America: The First Avenger, with Cap being selected for the Super Soldier Serum, then squaring off against the Red Skull. Cap gets strapped to a rocket that he steers away from the White House and into, if I'm not mistaken, Alaska. After being frozen for about fifty years, Steve Rogers (Matt Salinger) breaks free from the ice and traipses from Alaska down through northern Canada in an attempt to find his way home. At first he does not accept that he is fifty years in the future, but this is a thematic and plot thread that predictably goes nowhere. Instead of exploring his man-outside-of-time psychology, Rogers teams up with his old girlfriend's daughter (a bit gross) and goes after the Red Skull, who is still alive and has recently kidnapped the President (Ronny Cox) because he doesn't like the President's environmental bill. Also, the Red Skull has had face reconstruction surgery since the forties so he no longer has a red skull, just an ugly face.

Captain America may engage with the iconography on the surface level, but as you can probably tell by that recap, the film isn't terribly interested in exploring why the character resonates. It probably would have been better served as a cheesy period piece, but the narrative break between WWII and present day is jarring and disappointing, especially since most of the rest of the movie involves Captain America trekking across the Canadian wilderness in his goofy suit, or sitting around in suburbia acting awfully calm for somebody who has just time traveled fifty years into the future.

The fact that the Red Skull is still around fifty years later, but has waited until now for his most dastardly plot, is also distressing from a storytelling perspective. Plus, taking away his iconic look feels like a cop out at best.

CAPTAIN AMERICA II: DEATH TOO SOON - Camp Cap

In the weeks leading up to Marvel's next blockbuster juggernaut, Captain America: Civil War, we will be looking at every cinematic iteration of those two warring rapscallions, Captain America and Iron Man.

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Director: Ivan Nagy
Writers: Wilton Schiller, Patricia Payne
Cast: Reb Brown, Connie Sellecca, Len Birman, Christopher Lee
Runtime: 83 mins.
1979

Captain America II: Death Too Soon is the 1979 sequel to the 1979 TV movie Captain America, and it is several orders of magnitude better than its predecessor. If you're in the market to watch one of these movies for camp purposes, it should undoubtedly be this one. It's not like you'll be missing anything important from the original's pointless wheel-spinning narrative.

In fact, the plot is a fair bit clearer and more straightforward. A mysterious terrorist who goes by the name General Miguel (Christopher Lee) plans to hold the entire town of Portland hostage by dropping an aging serum on their heads. Miguel is in hiding, pretending to be a prison warden at a local penitentiary. Steve Rogers (Reb Brown) must investigate a small town where something suspicious is going on, so that he might ultimately discover Miguel's location and let Captain America take care of business. Meanwhile, in an irrelevant B-plot, our favorite scientists Dr. Simon Mills (Len Birman) and Dr. Wendy Day (conspicuously replaced by Connie Sellecca--didn't this character used to be blonde??) are working on a cure for the virus. They deliver exposition ably, but fail at everything else.

The film still takes a little too long to reveal what is going on in the town, but the plot is for the most part less obtuse. This is very much to the film's advantage, because the last thing this movie should want is for us to start using our brains to figure out what is happening. Everything about the story is ridiculous, of course, but it's well within the reasonable bounds of schlock sci-fi. Steve Rogers taking time to woo a single mother and hang out at her farm with her kid is a less forgivable narrative misstep.

That being said, you can shrug that stuff off with a laugh because, unlike Captain America, Captain America II doesn't spend an ungodly amount of time on every single sequence. It sets up what it needs to, knocks it down, and awkwardly edits into the next scene. Parts of it still drag, but at least we're not watching a doofus go off motorcycle jumps for five to ten minutes at a time.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Cap-ital Punishment

In the weeks leading up to Marvel's next blockbuster juggernaut, Captain America: Civil War, we will be looking at every cinematic iteration of those two warring rapscallions, Captain America and Iron Man.

Other Reviews in this Series.

Director: Rod Holcomb
Writers: Don Ingalls, Chester Krumholz
Cast: Reb Brown, Len Birman, Heather Menzies-Urich, Robin Mattson, Joseph Ruskin
Runtime: 97 mins.
1979

The 1979 TV Movie Captain America has a simple premise: What if Captain America's son were a selfish, imbecilic slacker? And what if we made a movie about him?

Of course, the film doesn't seem altogether aware of its own premise, as we are apparently supposed to find this man impressive and heroic. He is not. Let me lay it out for you.

Steve Rogers (Reb Brown) is a hunky behemoth who has just returned from active military service. Now that he's out, his goal in life is to drive around in his van and be lazy for the foreseeable future. He also draws. These are his sole character traits.