Director: Cheh Chang
Writers: Cheh Chang, Kuang Ni
Cast: Tien-Chi Cheng, Pei-Hsi Chen, Tien Hsiang Lung, Meng Lo, Michael Wai-Man Chan, Li Wang
Runtime: 107 mins.
1982
Here is my best effort at a Five Elements Ninjas plot summary: the film begins with a fight between an established dojo and an upstart group of criminal combatants. The established dojo wins handily. In the process they defeat a Japanese samurai, who commits seppuku in shame. Before he dies, he reveals the existence of the Five Elements Ninjas, experts in ninjutsu who use themed subterfuge techniques to best their opponents. The kung fu dojo sends groups to fight each of these squads. They are all murdered. Then, aided by the betrayal of ninja spy Senji (Pei-Hsi Chen), a ninja invasion force murders all of our characters except one. Shao Tien-Hao (Tien-Chi Cheng) escapes and finds a ninjutsu mentor. After a brief montage, he returns with his own squad to wipe out the Five Elements Ninjas and restore his fallen dojo's good name.
It's all nonsense. The plot exists as an excuse for the fight scenes. The characters, too, add nothing of value. The most fleshed out dynamic by far is between protagonist Shao Tien-Hao and Senji. Senji postures as an abused woman in order to gain entry into the martial arts school, where she betrays them by orchestrating the ninja invasion from the inside. She is secretly a proficient ninja in her own right, but she has (surprise surprise) fallen in love with Shao Tien-Hao, who is nothing but rude and officious towards her. Their entire arc together is rife with smug misogyny. If these are the most developed characters of the bunch, well, don't expect much in the way of human drama.
To a certain extent it doesn't matter. There is a great deal of fun to be had from seeing the layers of Five Elements Ninjas unfold. The unruly plot makes for a dreamy experience, and the flatness of the characters makes them all the better to laugh at. The melodrama is good for a constant stream of hilarious reaction shots. These actors pull faces, throw their bodies against the wall, slam their heads into their hands-- bad movie acting treasure. Best of all, there is an absolutely delightful conceit of onscreen text laboriously naming all of the devices and weapons the characters use. I can't explain why this is so charming. Imagine a character pulls out some knives and the screen freezes to inform us: THROWING KNIVES. Or a group of characters bust out a battering ram and we are told: LARGE DOOR INFILTRATOR.
There is one element of Five Elements Ninjas that is not just bad movie good, but good good, and it's the most important one for a movie like this. The combat is phenomenal. This is classic kung fu the likes of which is vanishingly rare: acutely trained martial artists rhythmically wailing on each other in no-frill long takes. The clanging of the weapons becomes musical as every new fight scene curates some physical feat to gawk over.
The plot may be useless, but the filmmakers know how to organically build our relationship to the combat. The first time we travel to see each of the five elements ninjas, it feels like a fun house. Brave warriors venture into their lairs one by one, chintzy sets that look more like a souped up playground than anything to be found in nature. The elemental techniques themselves are goofy as hell: ninjas approach in little paddleboats, or disguise themselves as trees. It's a hoot.
Yet the movie doesn't truly shine until its final sequence, when Hao and his ninjutsu-trained companions wipe out each of the five elements ninjas group by group. They come prepared with specific counterattacks designed to thwart their enemies' tricks. These counterattacks are structured around their unique multi-tool staff weapons, which can become blades, bos, or even deadly stilts with a few quick adjustments. The culmination is so visually satisfying that you almost forget about the raggedy lead-up.
3 / 5 BLOBS
No comments:
Post a Comment